Prince Harming

Posted by on July 29, 2010

Since I’m doing work in bullying and reducing victimization, I thought it was appropriate that I put an article about this issue, emotional/psychological abuse.

I have heard of many emotionally abusive situations and some people are in relationships where this is occurring right now. Women do this too but this article is to help other women stand up for themselves if they are in an abusive relationship. Emotional abuse is hard to quantify but it can be extremely hurtful to the victim and hence why I’m bringing it up.

I found this article in Women’s Health by Martha Brockenbrough which describes the early warning signs of Prince Harming. http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/emotionally-abusive?page=1 Check it out! and dont put up with this behaviour.

“1 He’s a blamer. A guy may blame someone for cutting him off on the road, or more insidiously, he can blame his ex-girlfriend for making his life tough. Early on, this deplorable blaming trait is hard to detect because it is often couched in a compliment (e.g., “You’re nothing like that bitch I used to date”). Says Stosny: “The law of blame is that it goes to the closest person. You’ll eventually be the object of it.”

2 He’s resentful. People like this aren’t able to deal with the fact that life can sometimes be tough and unfair. They dwell on the injustice. Their resentment is a self-defense mechanism, masking a fear of inadequacy or failure.

3 He has an entitlement complex. This is sometimes related to resentment: If life is so damn hard for him, then he’s entitled to cut in line and break other rules. Let him get close and he’ll feel entitled to abuse you if you don’t let him have his way.

4 He has a superiority complex. Emotionally abusive people aren’t satisfied by feeling OK about themselves; they have to feel better than other people. This can play out as competitiveness or self-righteousness, and can be alluring at first because he might flatter you with the ways in which you, too, are superior.

5 He’s petty. If he’s the sort of person who makes a mountain out of the proverbial molehill—let’s say, when a waitress doesn’t put enough ice in his soda—be warned.

6 He’s sarcastic. This sort of humor is designed to make someone feel bad. Eventually, you’ll be the target.

7 He’s deceitful. If he exaggerates or distorts his past, it’s a bad sign. It’s not unusual to put on a good face when you’re trying to impress a potential mate. But lying shows that his self-respect—and his regard for you—is low.

8 He’s jealous. A dab of jealousy is fine, but any more can be toxic. Stosny calls jealousy “the only naturally occurring emotion that can cause psychosis”—the inability to distinguish the real from the imagined. Most severe relationship violence has jealousy at its root.

9 He’s pushy. While this might be done under the guise of “sweeping you off your feet,” guys who push for too much too soon can be trouble. He should care more about your boundaries than his desires. “(Women’s Health, 2010)

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

Thank you for reading and your presence at this beach retreat. You Rock! I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comment section below.

See you at the beach!

Ariannas_Random_Thoughts_Signature.jpg

4 Responses to Prince Harming

  1. Nelly

    I think that any female is vulnerable to ending up in a relationship like this. Many of my female friends who are now in fulfilling long term relationships can cite an emotionally abusive relationship-especially when it was their first experience.

    However, I worry about females that end up in relationships like these over and over.
    Perhaps individuals from abusive households or low self-esteem will not be able to see these signs because they are either used to it or want to avoid being alone.

    I wonder what else can be done to avoid being in harmful relationships.

  2. Arianna

    Yeah,I want to help them too. Some women really need love and cant be alone so they will tolerate this behaviour. They dont see it as abuse. Also they are too nice to stand up and say anything.

    To be in a healthy relationship, you shouldnt be the brunt of all his jokes, he should put you up on pedestal and value you. I wont tolerate guys who do this all the time and tease you all the time to make others laugh. Its not cool.

    Women need to stand up for themselves and know they deserve to be treated a certain way. How can we encourage them to do this? I dont know some see it as I would rather have a boyfriend/husband than be alone. We need to encourage them to be in healthy relationships and seek help if possible.

  3. Todd Lohenry

    I like your content and choice of themes. Keep going!

Leave Your Mark in the Sand by Sharing Your Thoughts: